how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
