Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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