Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
