Already got asked if we're dating
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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