i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
