Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
