did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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