i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
