Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize