You're completely useless in the revolution.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize