if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize