even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
