I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
