I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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