I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
