In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
