If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
