Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
