there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
this is an emotional support booty call
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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