I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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