I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
love makes seman taste better
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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