the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
