wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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