spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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