scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
