apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
