Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
