I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Randomize
