Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
