i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
