this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
