he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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