if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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