xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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