Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
