so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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