It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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