Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Come see our sink grown plant.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
