idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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