16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
