You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize