Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
