My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize