I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
