Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
