A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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