butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
