He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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