oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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