im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She bit a glass in half.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
