what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
