ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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