every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
