I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
worst night to have a conscience
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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