Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We need to rekindle our bromance
vagina is talking i cant
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
