my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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