i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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