do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
