You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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